it feels like it's been forever since I last blogged; even moreso when you actually count the years. life keeps moving fast paced and when everything's just coming at you and trying to wear you down, you spend all your energy trying to withstand the tide; and then where's the motivation to blog? stress release was better served then by reading, gaming, or just – sleeping.
but recently i've had some major life changes, and it always seems like i blog whenever something major happens. in a way, my life is very boring if i've found nothing to blog about; but that was actually because i could adequately explain what has happened in my life and that suited me fine.
recent events, however, have left me utterly speechless and reaching futilely for words which i couldn't define. trying to form a sentence left me floundering in a word puddle that, frankly, didn't make sense and just irked me, because I thought, I used to be better than this! but it turns out no, not anymore, because I haven't written in ages.
so when these recent events hit, i was kind of at a loss for words. and it's been extremely hard for me to even begin to figure out what was happening. so i'm going to try to motivate myself more to blog more; to speak more; to write more clearly and contextualize what i could not before.
hopefully it'll work.